COSTCO Survival Playlist - Unrelated and Unattached Creator Pride

This post is random. It’s not about writing, but it is about staying functional, regulated, and entertained in a place that overwhelms many of us while we still love it: Costco.

I made this playlist because I’m easily overwhelmed by crowds, fluorescent lights, too many choices, and—worst of all—parking lots. So I created a Costco playlist to help me stay focused, amused, and calm-ish while I navigate my local Costco warehouse. (Your’s may differ in layout.)

Full disclosure: I have never been good at creating the perfect “mixtape story arc,” which is probably why I was never a DJ—even though I lived in Portland, Oregon in the mid-2000s (I frequently visited 23rd Street, Hawthorne Blvd. and Burnside St. where nearly everyone touted themselves as a DJ– Yes the Portlandia episode really was incredibly accurate, at least to a transplant).

Crap I already built this up too much!

Why a Costco Playlist?

I genuinely love Costco—the values, the prices, the free samples. But I always wait until the last week to use my rebate, and then I panic-shop through a sea of people with carts the size of European Microcars.

For me a little auditory structure helps (i.e. a playlist to hype me up, migrate and move me, and ultimately calm me with a game plan).

I recommend keeping one earbud in, one out, so you remain aware of your surroundings, and are less likely to be startled. One thing I genuinely appreciate about Costco is that they don’t play store music—it’s one less sensory layer to filter out. That said, I like having my own predictable playlist. I find it “grounding” and it helps me to notice when I’m lingering about things I don’t need or when I’m zoning out and should probably just head to another section or to home if I've reached my capacity. 

👉 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1tYhApUlALmdeiOnrNxxor?si=lQF5nujVSe-a4T2hL4F1xA

And now…
Time for a Costco run!

Here’s the playlist on Spotify,  it is 1 hour 6 min. (Use it or copy it to Tidal/Pandora/etc. Yes, I do not agree with Spotify Ad practices, however this is a single playlist and downloading a new app can be daunting. So get a quick look or peruse below and create your own playlist on your preferred platform.)

OOOOKAY -Let's go to COSTCO! 

Here is the playlist and my thoughts, emotions and half-assed story-telling to navigate you through it... well because this is a writing blog after all. 

Playlist - 

1. “The Distance” by CAKE - you've parked your car (finally) and taken a few deep breaths, you grab your cart or scour the parking lot for an abandoned one then join the queue to enter. You scramble for your membership card. Your heart beats in time with the song - "as the flags draw up". You are Ready! 

2. They scan your card, and you're in. Don't worry you can do this! Despite the dopamine draws, you can do this. Nevertheless, "I want it All" by Queen echoes in your heart. Crates of seemingly necessary non-necessities are on your right as you jockey for position to pass by the dawdlers eyeing the big screen electronics.

3. You've made it past the first gauntlet. Now you are in between furniture, gifts and really fun house accessories. Now you're ready for "Material Girl" by Madonna. You might stop to take a gander at a nice vacuum cleaner or fluffy blanket.

4.  You look up and are waved over to a table by someone in an apron and a disposable bouffant cap. "Give it Away" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, further entices you try whatever they are handing you to taste. And yep you will probably buy it even though your freezer has no room. 

5. Now that your belly is a little happier, you are finally getting down to business and filling your cart with things from your list.
   "Walkin' On The Sun" by Smash Mouth, keeps you motivated and on track, as you enter one of the food sections.
   This is where it gets tough. As you see bricks of cheese for $8, tubs of hummus and of course cakes! Judge whether you can navigate and hold your own in the fresh produce fridge area.

6. Take a deep breath and head towards the frozen foods as ABBA's "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" (A man after midnight), keeps you moving and bobbing your head as you look into the large cases for the exact things you need, and maybe one you don’t - but if it fits in your fridge or freezer and your cart - maybe it will accompany you home. 

7. You’ve made it this far, but you’re lagging. You look at your list, are you half way there yet? Or hopefully further? Do you have it in you to tackle the last dregs of your list? Your mind is already wondering and now “Should I Stay or Should I Go” by The Clash starts. It makes you honestly question where you are at and if you should skip the rest of the list and get into line. If the answer is YES skip to song #13 Time is Running Out by Muse. If it is NO and you have another 18 minutes and 32 seconds in you to get the remainder of your list, then continue on.

8. Take another 2 deep breaths as you go to the dry goods. As you pick up some coffee or tea and hopefully get a taster of some, your anxious pulse slows as “Hypnotize” by The Notorious B.I.G. drops its beat. You sway a little and roll your shoulders, as you relax and pause for the breakdown section, just watch your surroundings as you can’t control what your arm or swagger does at the “aahhhhhhh” (1:20) mark, (You don’t want to accidentally clock someone when you do an impromptu dance move.)

9. You’re almost there - just a few more stops, you will be triumphant. You will have gotten what you needed on your list and thus far only 1-2 things you did not know you needed. You just have to decide what you really need from the random gifts, books, sweatpants, socks etc. (Uhm, no you probably don’t actually need a second garden hose or larger nerf gun - unless they are gifts of course.) Nevertheless, here you are, you’ve already denied yourself so much, or so it feels. Your dopamine is low and screaming at you. But “It’s Britney Bitch-” sounds in your ear and you are temporarily invigorated. “Gimme More” by Britney Spears distracts you to shimmy and dance a little, instead of grabbing everything. Maybe you do need that book on sale though! That’s okay, reading is a form of self-care right? You’re good, you don’t really need anything else here, just a few more random items or sections to conquer on your list.

10. It’s time to migrate now. Now watch yourself, as crossing the thoroughfare to the registers can be harrowing. You might as well time your steps and imagine how funny your movement could be, as you do an iconic walk or stride to the makeup, medicine and vitamins to match the next song, “Walk This Way” (Run-D.M.C. featuring Aerosmith). Yes, with the exception of possibly an awesomely on-sale face cream, electrolyte packets or that large bottle of Advil for aging joints or an antihistamine - probably everything here is on your list, you don’t have to say NO to much. Walking this way, however, is by that long pharmacy line, and the aisles are congested so it will take the full song to get back to the thoroughfare. So you might as well have fun while you are stuck getting out of here. 

11. Next up is the candy, pantry and snack aisles. It's okay, it's what always happens. That’s why the candy section is right there when you exit. My body craves sugar when under stress, “I Want Candy” by Bow Wow Wow plays. Even if you crave salty and savory, Costco has you covered. Which is why those plastic jugs of nuts and powerbars are here, right before the checkout. We are all lagging behind heavy carts, the thoughts of savory and sweet snacks for your pocket, your car, your pantry and most importantly- your ride home make your decisions. (And of course your budget and what fits in the cart at this point). 

12. PHEW! It’s time to check your list and make sure you got everything. Now you get to backtrack (if needed) or just stand there for two minutes to collect yourself. It’s okay. Lots of people are “overwhelmed” here. That’s why we included  “overwhelmed” (by Royal & the Serpent). If people are rude or hit your cart - that is just a sign of their own emotional dysregulation (or they might just be an a**-hole).  (If you are overwhelmed at this point, spin a fidget ring, roll a sensory ring or do the Sensory countdown - 

1. 5 things you can see, 

2. 4 you can touch, 

3. 3 you can hear, 

4. 2 you can smell and perhaps 

5. 1 you can taste  - but don’t lick anything:). 

13. When “Time is Running Out” by Muse starts playing, it is now time to make your way to a checkout line or to already be there. You’ve done great! Only the chorus of the song applies. Your patience and the time you need to spend here are all that is running out, you’ve done your job, you needn’t do more. This is just the bell ringing at the end of recess to call you back to a mundane line, so you might as well have a good beat to march back with. The time running out is the time you need to spend being overwhelmed or uncomfortable. 

14. Now that you are in line, you just need to follow the person before you and not hit them with your cart. “Hold the Line” by TOTO plays in your ear as you can finally slump over your cart or temporarily close your eyes. Despite what your anxiety says, there are no awards for perfectly loading your items onto the conveyor belt - the only thing you need to have ready is your membership card to scan and your payment method handy. Costco employees are trained well and can quickly organize everything, (though they might appreciate your careful organization - don’t hold up the line - they have 100s if not 1000s of hours of experience- let them rock their talents). Give a smile and a thank you or two. Yay! You are nearly on your way. 

15. You are now breathing a heavy sigh of relief as your purchases are expertly piled and boxed into your cart and you make your way to the exit. While the song now playing is to relax you, don’t let your receipt fly away! “Fly Away” by Lenny Kravitz floats the elation of your heart and lightened steps with each strum. It's always a slow slog to have your receipt checked but it's brainless and relieving. “Fly Away” carries you out into the open air. 

16. The sunlight may blind you, or the crisp wind may shock you, but you smile just the same. “Paparazzi” by Lady Gaga escorts you out of the building. The blinding and shuddering caused by nature echoes the Paparazzi in your head. Flash bulbs, beats, working through discomfort and emerging victorious! You did it! Success! 

17. Now you just have to navigate the parking lot, load your car and very, very, very carefully exit the parking lot. If you are feeling anxious or in a need to rush - please take 1-2 minutes to calm yourself. Don’t let others bully you. Parking lots are dangerous. Seconds and minutes are worth lives. “Resounding Hymn” By Warmth of Muba plays to calm you and help you take a moment to calm and collect yourself. 

YOU DID IT!! “Unstoppable” by Sia  (Enough said!)