by Adriana Gillander
Yes, we all want to do better and be better, but change is more than hard. Nevertheless society has agreed that at the beginning of every year - we try again, to begin anew, and become more than what we were last year. Yet please remember, “change is inevitable in our lives and society, but what we can control is how we react to change—and how we choose to improve ourselves, (how we interpret, how we communicate, how we listen, how we grow… etc.)
REMINDER: FAILURE is almost ASSURED! (It’s not you but human nature.)
So as we all try to do better and be better: here are some things to keep in mind and a few tips!
Failure to change is ingrained. So don’t be hard on yourself, there are so many studies that show – many of us fail at our “resolutions” within 2 weeks, and even more within a month, even fewer last more than 3 months! So forgive yourself, and instead praise yourself for even trying. (Or you can always try again!)
Forming new habits and breaking old habits are two different things - both are difficult, and should be treated as such. ( I am not saying you cannot substitute a bad habit for something lesser- however, we all know it is not that easy. For example- telling someone to stop smoking by just drinking a glass of water each time they feel the impulse will not solve anything - and will not last. Each “habit” has multiple ties to other habits, traits and self talk.)
Plan to fail. I will say it again- change is hard, so make plans for each time you “fail”, or give up on yourself for an hour, a day, a week,or a month. Give yourself space to grow and change with a flexible timeline- plan how to try again!
Resolutions can be done in several ways - so if one doesn’t work for you- remember it isn’t you - change is hard and even more so for neurodivergents. That said, here are a few options to explore.
a. Traditional goals of health, wealth or love - but be super specific and use SMART goals.
b. Inspirational word/theme (some find a guiding word easier to remember and use - examples: (Understand - I seek to understand people’s reasoning before I react, and I seek to understand my reactions before I speak. Inspire - I want to lead a life that inspires others, I want to write a book that inspires others etc…)
c. More / Less - as we explained before, breaking habits are not a singular activity but attached to others- so sometimes supplementing them helps - but not always.
For example: Drink less soda/ Drink More water, Sit on the couch less/ take the dog for more walks, Eat less fried food / eat more salad. Substitution doesn’t always work to break habits but it can help mentally.
d. Vision board - draw or cut and paste images of what you want to achieve on a
board that you will see every day. This is passive inspiration to help you work
towards goals. Compile a collage of images, quotes, or whatever will help you to
focus on goals visually. If you want to live in a bigger house- paste a picture of your
dream house - you don’t have to accomplish the goal, but it's working
towards it that matters. These can all be super lofty! (Or they can include smaller
ones- for example - I have hooded and droopy eyelids - I want to learn how to do
my eye makeup this year.)
e. Vision Board BINGO - I just saw a tiktok on this - put your
goals/images/thoughts into a BINGO board. That way as you accomplish things
you can mark them off- then even if you don’t succeed at everything by year's end,
you probably will still have made a BINGO or TWO to celebrate!
Helpful links
Check out our downloads:
2025 SMART GOALS https://www.guildedmonocle.com/product-page/2025-smart-goals
2025 Reading List https://www.guildedmonocle.com/product-page/2025-reading-checklist
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